Films that changed your life challenge

On facebook, I was challenged to post a film that changed my life a day for 10 days. Here is the collection of those posts:

Day 1:

"8 1/2"

"8 1/2" I've always loved movies, but this was the film that made me want to become a filmmaker. Ironic that a story about a director losing control over his work, feeling forced to make a film he no longer has passion for, and diving into his own conscious for answers to artistic questions would make me want to become a filmmaker; but, Fellini captures not only the agony and pain of making cinema, but the joy. The visuals are extraordinary in a story that could only be told in cinema. The ending scene is one of the happiest ever, and when I complete a project, I feel the same way.

Day 2:

"Star Trek: First Contact"

"Star Trek: First Contact" The prompt did not say my choice for the best movies I've seen, but rather movies that have impacted me. I knew I had to choose a Star Trek film and struggled between "Wrath of Khan" (hysterical overacting and top notch drama). "Voyage Home," (the wonderful take on how we have changed as a society) and "The Undiscovered Country" (satire of Shakespeare), but ultimately, I had to go with "Star Trek: First Contact." There are numerous reasons that Star Trek means so much to me, but what it boils down to is this: I am a pessimist and Star Trek makes me believe in an optimistic future for humanity. Gene Roddenberry envisioned a future where humanity had grown out of its infancy. A place where racism, sexism, war on Earth, greed, poverty, were all a thing of the past. But, what Star Trek never answered is how that transformation happened. It happened because of "First Contact" where humanity realizing we are not alone in the Universe comes together to push into a bold new frontier. During this difficult time in my life and in our history, I can't imagine a better message. As Lily and Picard say to each other at the end:
Lily: I envy you... the place (the future) you're going to.
Picard: I envy you... taking these first steps into a new frontier.

Day 3:

"Bao" and "Chan is Missing"

This is a little bit of a cheat, but a short and a feature together (not that they premiered together, but what a great double treat this would make).

"Bao" Easily, the most moving experience I've had in theaters this year. This short encapsulates so much about "Asian-American" identity. A beautiful story about an immigrant family whose lonely mother while making dumplings (bao), creates a child. Raising this bao child is a life altering gift, but seeing him go off with a white girlfriend is too much for her to bear. The end realization of her actual situation is beautiful. The struggle of immigrant parents to understand their American children and vice-versa is so well portrayed here.

"Chan is Missing" I remember discovering this film in college and going "Asian Americans make films?!" Of course, I knew about Wayne Wang and his great adaptation of "Joy Luck Club" but "Chan is Missing" tackles the issues head on and is such a great representation of reality. Based on "Waiting for Godot", it is the story of two friends who are looking for their friend Chan in Chinatown who owes them money and never find him. The person they're looking for is symbolically, Charlie Chan, the racist yellow face character, and they cannot find him because he is a creation and not real. The movie dives into the reality of Chinatown, San Francisco, in a hysterical buddy comedy that deals with the existential crisis of Asian-Americans, which changed my belief. I didn't think my personal stories would resonate before, but I found out they will.

Day 4:

"The Last Temptation of Christ"

The passage from the Gospel that most defines my personal faith is the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus, realizing that his death was approaching, asks God to take away this cup. And if Jesus wanted to, he could have fled Gethsemane, but he didn't. He chose to stay. That moment of human fear and then the decision to sacrifice himself is at the center of my beliefs. The paradox of Christ being both the Son of God and the son of man is so well explored in Scorsese's "The Last Temptation of Christ" A radical retelling / imagining of the Gospel, it centers on Jesus trying to understand himself, as we all try to understand ourselves and our relationship to the world and each other. A breathtaking movie.

Day 5: 

"Ratatouille"

I could have chosen any number of Pixar movies for any number of reasons. "Toy Story 2" My belief when I was young that my toys were alive and the second one has always been my favorite. "Inside/Out" for its powerful story of the importance of sadness. "Finding Nemo" for its beauty and adventure. "The Incredibles" for their love of family. But, when it comes down to it, my favorite Pixar film is the one that moved me the most: "Ratatouille". Pixar's incredible artistry captures the artistry of food, but more than that, the story of someone who doesn't fit in to either world he has (his family or the kitchen) truly resonated with me. My favorite Pixar character, Anton Ego, has the greatest moment in a Pixar movie, when he is reminded why he loves food. His end speech about criticism encapsulates why I love exploring and analyzing art.

Day 6: 

"Fail State"

This next film, a documentary directed / produced by Alex Shebanow and co-produced by Terry Crawford, impacted me in multiple ways.

First it is a compelling condemnation of the for-profit college industry and the failure of our country to support public education; but, more than just giving you facts, Alex presents the stories of people who have had their lives ruined by the for-profit college industry. It is a powerful documentary.

This film also impacted me because I taught Terry Crawford when he was a student at Bellarmine and then he went to my alma mater, NYU, to study film and is a brilliant editor. Alex Shebanow and he made a documentary together that won the Bellarmine Film Festival at the time. Watching them grow up and become passionate artists who are working on films that fight for social justice is truly inspiring. So lucky to have been able to walk beside them on their incredible journey. These two are emblematic of my pride in all of my former students.

Day 7:

"Knight of Cups"

For anyone who has thought about watching the movies I've listed that have impacted me, this one I offer with caution. Earlier in the week (Day 5) I said that Anton Ego's speech at the end of "Ratatouille" explains my sense of criticism and art. "But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so. But there are times where a critic truly risks something, and that is in the discovery and defense of the 'new'. The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations. The new needs friends." That is true of Terrence Malick's "Knight of Cups". This is not a movie for the average filmgoer.

I am not sure I ever want to see "Knight of Cups" again. It is a frustratingly difficult movie. Overly long, containing almost no dialogue. The film is inter-cut with the reading of "The Pilgrim's Progress" as well as images of nature. The narration in the film jumps between perceptions, often shot following someone with their back to the camera, we don't understand if the character is speaking or thinking. The film is also split into chapters or shorts, each with a title card, corresponding to a tarot card.

And yet, with all of that being said, "Knight of Cups" rocked me to my core. I couldn't sleep for days after seeing it. I wrote around 60 pages of notes on the film. I am still unsure what the film is about, but I have an idea. The film begins with an earthquake representing Christian Bale's world being shattered by the death of his brother. The film deals with grief and salvation; with angels and demons; with failed relationships that he attempts to get into to find love to fill a void. All of these are inter-cut with shots of peace / childhood; with pointless parties and darkness, with tunnels and emerging into light.

This film, like Malick's other works, is more meditative and reflective than plot oriented. But, perhaps the most exciting, yet frustrating thing, the film cuts between new locations, characters, close ups every few seconds. It breaks the traditional sense of editing in every way. I never knew what shot was coming next. It was seeing something new.

In the end, this film confronted me about my own grief and the struggle to deal with it. The second to last section is "Death" in which the death could refer to the end of his relationship with Natalie Portman or the end of Natalie character's marriage to her husband (she's having an affair with Christian Bale's character) or perhaps the death of the child she is carrying. But, "Death" in tarot also means change and I feel that this short is the death or change of his grieving, that he is saved.

Day 8:

"Scenes from a Marriage / Saraband"

Okay... I'm cheating here again. This is perhaps the best original / sequel ever made. "Scenes from a Marriage", by Ingmar Bergman, made originally as a TV show and cut into a film in 1974, is a painfully real, autobiographical (he cast the great actress, Liv Ullmann, he was having an affair with to play his fictional wife). The "whole film" is almost 9 hours long. I saw it for the first time in theaters at the Film Forum in New York. One of the most powerful experiences of my life. Bergman better than any other film director (his only equal might be O'Neill in theater) plumed the depths of human despair. But, it is the sequel, "Saraband" that makes "Scenes from a Marriage" even more powerful. "Saraband", made in 2003, was Ingmar Bergman's first film since 1982. To see a new Bergman film in theaters was a treat, but more than that, "Saraband" reunited the two lead actors from "Scenes from a Marriage" to play their same characters from 29 years ago who after their painful break up in that film, come back together in their old age. It is the most hopeful film Bergman ever made. It was also his last as he passed away shortly after completing it. That after 20 years of not making a film, Bergman decided he had something more to say... and that it was hopeful, speaks dearly to me during this time.

Day 9:

"Running on Empty"

Sydney Lumet has been a great influence on me. His book, "How to Make a Movie" is one of the most insightful I've read. It made me realize the importance of the collaborative process in filmmaking, where a director can be inspired by a screenplay and yet also make it his own. As a screenwriter, that process is now something I look forward to rather than fear. So I knew I had to have one of his movies. "Running on Empty" is no where near his best movie, but it is one that I adore.

"Running on Empty" is one of the great coming of age stories with a cast that all turn in career best performances (and that is saying something). Christine Lahti and Judd Hirsch as the parents, Annie and Arthur Pope, who committed both an act of social justice and a crime, bombing a University Lab that was making napalm to protest the Vietnam War. But, although no one was supposed to get hurt, a janitor was blinded. They have been on the run from the FBI ever since. They had their second child while on the run. Now, their eldest, played by River Phoenix, is a senior in high school and must choose between being with his family or living his own life. Martha Plimpton plays his girlfriend and Steven Hill steals the movie as Annie's father with his one scene. It's ironic that such a fantastical story is one of the most real coming of age stories to me. The decision facing Danny is one that we all must face. One that I certainly confronted with my father. It is amplified in the story by the stakes of his parents being on the run, but, it is still the same choice we all must make.

Day 10: 

I have purposefully tried to pick a majority of films you wouldn't normally hear me talk about that have impacted me. Well, for my last one, I have to go with the movie that made me love films:

"2001: A Space Odyssey"

I tell this story every year in my film class, but before being forced to watch this movie by my father in 6th grade, I loved horrible action films. Took my father to all of them. Made him see horrible movies over and over. Well, he decided after watching "Fire Storm" that we had to watch a movie he wanted to see. He told me it was "2001: A Space Odyssey". Now, I am a trekkie and a lover of Star Wars so the idea of watching a space movie was great! I was so bored. The beginning black screen seemed to last forever... but not as long as those damn apes, but then we got into the future and humans were more boring than the apes!!! Then HAL came and that was at least interesting. Then the wormhole happens, the weird ending and suddenly the Star Child is floating in space and it ends.... I was like... WHAT?! My father and I talked about the film for 3 hours after. It was the longest conversation we had ever had till that point. We talked about large questions like our place in the universe and humanity's potential. It was at that point that I realized I wanted to watch movies that do that. Movies that make me question and lead to great conversations. The irony of this is that... my father never approved of me going into film and it nearly destroyed our relationship, but that was the day I fell in love with film. He introduced me to it. Thankfully now we can laugh at that irony.